Let me just say that I am no relationship expert but be that as it may, I have seen and heard relationships come and go. There are relationship experts who really deal with the psychology behind relationships and its subsequent fallouts. That being said, I have also discovered a few things that for me, are deal breakers. It’s not rocket science to notice some things that one might say are a big no-no in relationships. There might be varying reasons why relationships die off, but for me, there are just three which are prominent and the basis of all break ups.
Ego is a three letter word but it is a destructive force with as much might as a hurricane or tornado. The dictionary definition of ego is; an inflated feeling of pride in your superiority to others. So basically an egocentric person or an egoist is someone who is self-centred and has little regard for others. Enough of the long boring English definitions; how does this translate into our normal relationships? Well here’s how; for starters a partner starts to get a lot of attention from other people outside his or her relationship. This naturally leads to that individual thinking that they might be a lot more pretty or handsome than you deem them to be, that’s where the pomposity starts. Every single person likes attention. It gets into your head and makes you feel important. Then, you start to think that since you are obviously better than your partner, he or she must submit to your whims. Almost all relationships start with each partner giving it their all; the guy calls his lady every morning to find out how she is doing, the lady responds to her partners texts quickly. When ego sets in, one person feels he or she is too “big” to pick a phone and call or text the other, so partners start playing the waiting game, seeing who will call or text first. When the text does come, a reply might take an hour or two. Why? Well simple; Ego. Look, if you want relationship to last, call him or her every morning, when the texts do come; reply as quickly as you can. Nothing hurts more, than seeing your partner online on various social media platforms and yet no reply to your texts. Truth be told, if you keep waiting, someone will snatch you partner right off of you.
These days talking about commitment in relationships sounds more like a cliché. Everyone’s heard it before, we keep hearing it. It’s so overly used that most of us seem to have forgotten the potency of commitment in relationships. You want your relationship to work; stay committed. Relationships are for companionship among other things. Every relationship starts with a lot of energy and fire; there is a lot of love. A few months into the relationship, you realize that partners start taking their foot of the gas pedal leaving the relationship to a “free ride.” Basically, what this means is that the chips fall where they fall, no one cares. As I stated earlier, partners hardly talk to each other anymore, the things that you used to love doing together; that doesn’t happen anymore either. Love in a relationship is fine, but for me it gets stale at a point and the only thing that will and can keep the relationship alive are conscious efforts from both partners to keep the fire still lit.
Social media has come to help us in a lot of ways; it’s made communication easier and cheaper. It’s made work easier for some people and social media has been able to remove boredom from the lives of some people. Inasmuch as there are ups to the use of social media, it has been the bane of relationships. The lack of trust has led partners stalking partners on social media. People go like; I want to see what he or she is up to on social media, who does he tag his photos to, who normally likes her picture, who is he or she taking pictures with and posting them on social media. Now a friend of mine said she always had problems with her partner because; there is a particular gentleman on facebook who like and shares all of her pictures and also tags her in his. As funny or childish as it might sound, this happens every day in the lives of different couples. Basically, what I am trying to say is that if you love the person you should be able to look past things like these, open up about your fears and then trust that your partner will do right by you.
Written by: Mark Kwasi Ahumah Smith
Facebook: Kwasi Ahumah Smith